I recently had a coaching call that touched on a topic so important that it deserves a deeper conversation—the wounded masculine and its relationship with respect.
Too often, the wounded masculine equates respect with obedience, creating a distorted view of what it means to be valued and respected. But what if we reframed that perspective?
Understanding the Wounded Masculine’s View on Respect
Many men, influenced by social conditioning, adopt a mindset that conflates respect with fear and control. With underlying tones like “You must fear me,” “Do what I say,” and “I am your unquestionable authority” which echo in this wounded framework. It’s perceived as a lack of respect when someone doesn't follow these expectations. But this isn’t respect—it’s obedience.
Respect in its true form is rooted in mutual trust, empathy, and understanding. It’s not about forcing someone into submission but inspiring them through integrity and compassion. We must ask ourselves: Is our idea of respect tied to how obedient someone is to us? Or can we expand it beyond that?
Shifting Our Perspective on Respect
It’s time to challenge the narrative that equates respect with unquestioning compliance. Here are some reflections to consider:
Is your definition of respect built on the need to feel in control? This can often stem from unresolved wounds that are seeking validation through power.
How do you react when someone challenges your authority or makes an independent choice? Do you view it as disrespect, or as an opportunity to understand and collaborate?
What does respect mean to you outside the context of obedience? Could respect be more about mutual appreciation and genuine connection?
The Role of Men in Leading the Shift
For too long, our culture has normalized these reactions and called them ‘strength’ or ‘leadership.’ We have excused it and said, "well, every coach/boss is like that..."
But true leadership doesn’t stem from a place of control—it comes from creating environments of safety, openness, and trust.
It’s time for men to start healing from these deep wounds and step into a role where they can lead by example.
By healing the wounds of the past and redefining what respect means, men can positively impact their families, their communities, and society as a whole. Imagine the ripple effect of men who model healthy relationships, secure attachments, and authentic leadership.
Taking the First Step: Your Journey to Healing
If this message resonates with you, I invite you to watch my full video, where I share a personal story involving my son and his football coach. It’s a real-life example of how this dynamic plays out and what we can do to change it.
If you’re ready to start the journey of healing and transformation, reach out to me for a free discovery call.
Let’s talk about how you can break the cycle, redefine respect, and become the role model our society desperately needs.
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